Wasted Energy

Once my best friend, then worst enemy, now person i sparaticly pass in the hall way. This girl who was so mean to me, belittled me, would be my friend when it was convenient, and could never be happy for me. I am no better then her when all this time i have been reasuring myself i am. but im not me and her other "x" best friend talked about her all the time. i am just as bad as she is. I wasted so much time hating her. dwelling on hating her has brought out the worst in me and i hate it. its been like 1/2 a yr. since we were all best friends. i am just now letting go of the hatered. i am now not saying anything when people ask me about her know how i used to feel about her. mb it was so hard for me to let go b/c i felt that b/c she had hurt me she didnt deserve to be happy but she was and is. mb its b/c its hard to let go of someone you were once attached at the hip with. i also think i am a little jealous about how happy she seems to be now. i want to let go b/c i realized the person i am when i think about our past is not a nice person and a person i dont want to be again. My cuzin now has a class her and she says she is always really nice and never says nething mean about me. thats either b/c she knows my cuz will tell me, she has let go or b/c she is a better person then me. which scares me b/c i have spent so long saying that she is this aweful person when mb it was just me. this is me letting go of what was and accepting and loving everything that is.
just breath.