Church Camp

So i spent a week in bedford at church camp. and it was soooo much fun. i have the best cabin. we connected so well. we did everything together. it was so much fun. i met so many people that i will never forget. at camp it is so easy to have a strong faith...b/c ur surrounded by it. but its now that my faith is test...once i leave Utopia.and camp really is utopia...you dont have to worry about the outside world and its drama. and everyone is so accepting..no matter what age. neway it is the best and i miss everyone so much! peace&love

Bff

Cassandra Louise Wheeler & Sarah Ann Bartley.Best friends since 12-29-90Cousins. Best Friends. Sister's at heart.no one could be so lucky.Best friends are not people who do petty fighting and sneak behind eachothers backs. Best Friends are the ones that usually never fight because they know what bugs eachother.They are the person who you can talk to about ANYTHING*if you have secrets from your "best friend" they arent your bff at all*A best friend is someone who you can look at and they know exactly what your thinking anytime about any situation.THey call you on your bullshit and keep you straight and you know its out of love.its the person who you can take your anger out on and they just help you through anything. you know even if they are a thousand miles away they would come back to help you in a second. They leave you messages on myspace about what was happening on vacation. they come see you the night you come back saying how much they missed you.they will go to a country music concert even though they werent a huge country music fan. then fall in love with the band you guys went to see.they will be there getting into big trouble with you for the first time.they will know everything you have done that no one knows about.they have never let any of your secrets out EVERThey are the person that you have so many inside jokes with you can't even think of em all.You can go weeks seeing them everyday and not get tired of em.you know their pet peeves and you could pick out the perfect guy for emyou know their favorite food...and you could order for them at any resturant.you know their favorite drink and know when they are about to kill someone.you look at eachother and laugh so hard just thinking of something that happend a long time ago.you get into fights but the next day you text eacother saying sorry and that i couldnt be mad at you.you would do nething for their safety and they come before boys.When you think of them you wouldnt trade them for anyone in the world.i am so lucky to have a best friend like thisshe has done everything for mewe share the same views and we argue about different things.she knows my exagerations. and i know she cant spell.we spend all day with eachother and then go home and talk on the phone w/ eacother we have half of eacothers closets at our house.we are always up for things together.we have signals with guys. we have code words for hott guys we could go on all day about one guy! we know eachothers past dramaswe know everything about our ex boyfriendsand we go through the same things.we fill eachother in on other friends and family.and we have NO secretsthe first michevious thing we did in our lives was togetherwe get into trouble together.we like the same movieswe quote the same lineswe sing the same songs.heaven made us cousins cause no parents in the world could handle us as sisters.we are there for eachotherwe make fun of eachtherwe laugh when the other falls out of a car when we go on vaca we always have fun we cry about the same thingswe cry togetherwe lay around all day and watch 2 seasons of one tree hillwe argue. we fight. we laugh. we cry. we smile. we hug. we are the same person in two different bodies i am so lucky and i wouldnt trade my best friend for anyoneshe has always been there for me and i cant imagine life without herTO MY BEST FRIEND SARAH ANN BARTLEY thank you so much for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(im gonna make a new one but till then this will represent)<3

The Good Girl

I get tired of being the good girl somtimes. I would never cheat on ne boyfriend i have but i hate being the mom of the group. but someone has to have a little bit of morals or we would get in big trouble. i know i dont have to worry about my friends but thats who i am. sometimes i want to be the one who doesnt have to worry about making sure noone does nething stupid and just drinks and flirts and has fun. i want to get the guy. i wouldnt feel to guilty about doing this stuff w/out thinking about neone else either. but i do...so.. guess ill just be the good girl<3

Happy Mother's Day

for mom.
My mom is my everything; my berst friend, my psychaitrist my homework helper, the one who believe in me, the one who pushed me to be better,=my mom. Without her i would not be me. I cant imagine those kids who dont have mother like her i wouldnt be able to geth through the days. She is my eternal optimist and my faith that everything will be oook, even when i dont feel great. She puts our needs before your and im thankful for it.People like her give me faith in the world. Those just highlight how amazing she truley is. I am honsetly blessed so much to have her as a mother. I love her soooo very very much.

Wasted Energy

Once my best friend, then worst enemy, now person i sparaticly pass in the hall way. This girl who was so mean to me, belittled me, would be my friend when it was convenient, and could never be happy for me. I am no better then her when all this time i have been reasuring myself i am. but im not me and her other "x" best friend talked about her all the time. i am just as bad as she is. I wasted so much time hating her. dwelling on hating her has brought out the worst in me and i hate it. its been like 1/2 a yr. since we were all best friends. i am just now letting go of the hatered. i am now not saying anything when people ask me about her know how i used to feel about her. mb it was so hard for me to let go b/c i felt that b/c she had hurt me she didnt deserve to be happy but she was and is. mb its b/c its hard to let go of someone you were once attached at the hip with. i also think i am a little jealous about how happy she seems to be now. i want to let go b/c i realized the person i am when i think about our past is not a nice person and a person i dont want to be again. My cuzin now has a class her and she says she is always really nice and never says nething mean about me. thats either b/c she knows my cuz will tell me, she has let go or b/c she is a better person then me. which scares me b/c i have spent so long saying that she is this aweful person when mb it was just me. this is me letting go of what was and accepting and loving everything that is.
just breath.

Prom&& music

I went to prom this weekend and it was a LOT more fun then i expected. maybe going with a group of girls was the best idea. im still shooting for a date next yr. kings island was awesome too. i dance the whole night. and it wouldnt have been near as fun without one of my best friends amanda. people dont get our friendship b/c we r mean and honest and fight all the time but are still the best. ne ways shes awesome and it would have sucked with out her. next yr. will be a zillion time more fun.
Music
i think its so weird how i can be listening to a song and think that life rocks and i cant believe i ever am unhappy then the next song is some depressing love song and im like well geeeez. lol but i love music. its my way pf expression. i suck at singing but i sing lOUD. a like listening to everything. it all depends on my mood. point being music is awesome from country to rap i<3 it all

Junior Year.

My junior year is ending one year of school left. approximatly 200 days of school. I am so excited. But at the same time terrified. leaving this place is like leaving my whole life.my friends, my family. I have lived in the same place my whole life. This town has all my memories. my firsts. I spend time complaining about the things i hate about Avon. Traffic. High school Drama. some of the people. But that i am going to get where ever i go. I honestly dont not what i am going to do without it. Its safe. besides the bomb threats the past two weeks lol. Even then there is NO place like home. && this is mine. i know i will sparatically come back throughout college. however thank you loverly town of Avon for being my home. growing up anywhere else would have just not been the same. ♥

Prom is this weekend. Im going with a group of girl friends. It's always people ask who you are going with and you say a group of girls. then people give you the pitty look and change that to... its better that way ull have more fun. party...that makes me feel good. high school relationships are over rated. not many people stay together. they say they "love" someone but what does that mean when ur 17. is it the same kind of love you have when ur 25,35, or 40? or do they just say it b/c the are immature? what the point in dating someone u dont c urself marring?? i know what i want. so when i find it Bam. thats it. im picky...possibly unrealistic. i want the notebook romance. i want my husband to be willing to do nething for me as i would him. i build me a house with a wrap around porch. neways im boyfriends less. people that have term relationships suck. <3333im jealous.

Religion

i go throught the motions of praise every sunday. i go to youth group& decon. so i profess to be christian. but i lack a belief in god. i wanna believe but i just think its kind of a stretch. maybe its because so much is attached to god and jesus. preconcieve notions of who or what they are. i think the bible has valuble lessons to teach&& noble rules to follow. but i dont believe everything in it. i go to church to learn these values and b/c i love my church family. do i need another reason to go? and does it make much sense to just pick and choose what you want to believe? are you still christian? idk religion in general is shaky for me. i dont understand how people are so strong in their faith. those who are so strong must have question figured out that i dont. or dont ask themselves the questions i ask. and those who have crisis convenantly turn to god when before they may not have believed. or the people that are holiday church goers. what is that honestly? i mean does it make u feel like ur a better person b/c u got ur church in for the year? then people who go directly by the bible the majority are hypocrites condiming everyone else without stoping to think who are they to condim and out cast people? are people just afraid of death and feel like they need heaven as a promise of a better place, or do they truely believe in all these things? The bible is just a book that who know how accuratly is written. may be its all the hype that is with religion. sometimes i feel like preachers are just actors trying to sell something to me. lol. I want so badly to be strong in faith and to worship with excitement but i dont know how. i dont know what to believe and i feel like i am wrong not to have a strong faith. [sorry that i am the worst speller ever!!!]

there's a new wind in the Windy City: with the sibs

there's a new wind in the Windy City: with the sibs

Hello

so im not really a big blog person. i pretty much just made this to keep in touch with my friend rachel. lol sooo life is good. like 25 days left in school. prom may 5th which i am going with friends...pethetic way of saying noone asked...i could have just taken someone but i dont want to just take someone. well i cant really complain because there are people starving in africa right. i am blessed. Peace&& Love