Happy Mother's Day

for mom.
My mom is my everything; my berst friend, my psychaitrist my homework helper, the one who believe in me, the one who pushed me to be better,=my mom. Without her i would not be me. I cant imagine those kids who dont have mother like her i wouldnt be able to geth through the days. She is my eternal optimist and my faith that everything will be oook, even when i dont feel great. She puts our needs before your and im thankful for it.People like her give me faith in the world. Those just highlight how amazing she truley is. I am honsetly blessed so much to have her as a mother. I love her soooo very very much.

Wasted Energy

Once my best friend, then worst enemy, now person i sparaticly pass in the hall way. This girl who was so mean to me, belittled me, would be my friend when it was convenient, and could never be happy for me. I am no better then her when all this time i have been reasuring myself i am. but im not me and her other "x" best friend talked about her all the time. i am just as bad as she is. I wasted so much time hating her. dwelling on hating her has brought out the worst in me and i hate it. its been like 1/2 a yr. since we were all best friends. i am just now letting go of the hatered. i am now not saying anything when people ask me about her know how i used to feel about her. mb it was so hard for me to let go b/c i felt that b/c she had hurt me she didnt deserve to be happy but she was and is. mb its b/c its hard to let go of someone you were once attached at the hip with. i also think i am a little jealous about how happy she seems to be now. i want to let go b/c i realized the person i am when i think about our past is not a nice person and a person i dont want to be again. My cuzin now has a class her and she says she is always really nice and never says nething mean about me. thats either b/c she knows my cuz will tell me, she has let go or b/c she is a better person then me. which scares me b/c i have spent so long saying that she is this aweful person when mb it was just me. this is me letting go of what was and accepting and loving everything that is.
just breath.

Prom&& music

I went to prom this weekend and it was a LOT more fun then i expected. maybe going with a group of girls was the best idea. im still shooting for a date next yr. kings island was awesome too. i dance the whole night. and it wouldnt have been near as fun without one of my best friends amanda. people dont get our friendship b/c we r mean and honest and fight all the time but are still the best. ne ways shes awesome and it would have sucked with out her. next yr. will be a zillion time more fun.
Music
i think its so weird how i can be listening to a song and think that life rocks and i cant believe i ever am unhappy then the next song is some depressing love song and im like well geeeez. lol but i love music. its my way pf expression. i suck at singing but i sing lOUD. a like listening to everything. it all depends on my mood. point being music is awesome from country to rap i<3 it all

Junior Year.

My junior year is ending one year of school left. approximatly 200 days of school. I am so excited. But at the same time terrified. leaving this place is like leaving my whole life.my friends, my family. I have lived in the same place my whole life. This town has all my memories. my firsts. I spend time complaining about the things i hate about Avon. Traffic. High school Drama. some of the people. But that i am going to get where ever i go. I honestly dont not what i am going to do without it. Its safe. besides the bomb threats the past two weeks lol. Even then there is NO place like home. && this is mine. i know i will sparatically come back throughout college. however thank you loverly town of Avon for being my home. growing up anywhere else would have just not been the same. ♥