Hard Day....

MUSIC SAVES ME

Life

Spring Break is in less then a week, I am so excited to on a boat with Matthew :) And turn twenty! What a fantastic week!!!! I am loving life... it has it bumps but each pump teaches me something. I am excited for the summer and the SUN!


I have learned a lot about myself this year. Boy do I exhaust myself. #1... I have got to learn how to let things go!!!! My mom is always there to help. I am trying to figure out a new plan to let things go. Maybe every time I am cant let something go I need to listen to music... or something... any ideas? I will figure out because just saying i need to let things go is not helping. lol

<3

My own love story

I have watched the Notebook, and P.S. I love you in the past two days. I realized that this stories are all great but I'm finally living my own. :) and it is much better then any movie! :)

And i hate the cold :( stupid winter.

<3 Always love.

Happy New Year

I had a crazzy busy week :) Sunday-Thursday filled with Matthew and his family. I had so much fun. It was nice to get to know everyone and feel more comfortable around them. I'm happy in a way I have never been before & it feels good.

Looking back on the year makes me exhausted. So much as changed. My heart has been lost and broken then found in a more real way then I have ever felt. I have realized few people are genuine and unselfish. I have thought about so many things I want in life. I've taken a few trips and found a little bit more about myself.

New Years Resolutions

I kind of gave up on New Years Resolutions because I suck at keeping them.

*Go w/ the flo
*Stress/ Worry Less
*Better Time Management
*Lose weight


2010

I am so excited for this year :) Its gonna be a good one I can feel it. California for spring break w/ Matt and Lynnsey! Texas in the summer. Concerts. Traveling. Best Friends :)

Ohhhh caring..

I'm pretty much done with my emotions. I know relationships are worth it however sometimes i just want to quit... My emotions and mind race all the time. I hate it. Its exhausting caring about people. Caring about your friends and the decisions they make, your sister and how harsh high school can be, your parents that have my world to deal with, and then the random people you just think about that have it so much harder then you...and finally the one im talking about is the boy. Maybe its just a part of being female...It drives me crazy, its annoying and stupid. But I cant stop, and I dont want to i just want it to be easier. I'm not sure even how to describe it. I feel like guys never feel that way tho. its like I want us to be able to do stuff separate but I just want to be happy with him all the time. I want to be the only thing on his mind...its gross and a little selfish...I am such a girl. FML



Totally worth it ;)

Home again...

Math....is a waste of my time. I'm going home again today. Home is starting to not feel the same. I love my family, but the pull that was once there is fading. Its a little sad. Most of my friends are in bloomington even my friends in Avon are usually in bloomington with me. Its a feeling I just can't explain...i guess everyone feels it a little at some point...but
I love college :)








I have been in the weirdest mood lately. I'm fine and then all the sudden i just cant handle anything. The feeling is exhausting and I hate feeling like that because I know what im doing that im being mean but i continue to be mean and refuse any attempt at changing my mood. Which isnt fair to those poor people are brave enough to stick their hand in the cage only to get it bitten repeatedly...I should probably work on that. Something just seems off...

On a happy note...I'm really excited for the weekend. It should be fun, family/Matt time. My favorite. Plus i get to go to a wedding, I love weddings no matter who it is :) They are so sweet.


Take my mind and think through it, take my lips and speak through them, take my heart and set it on fire.

<3

Its Been Awhile....

It is funny what can happen in a year. I'm pretty sure my life came to an end 3 or 4 times...or so i thought it would. Thankfully I made it through. And am happier then I have been in a long time. My blogs reveal an embarrassingly large amount of stuff about me I feel like... reading them makes me roll my eyes at myself a little. Thinking about how much as changed and all that has happened exhausts me. Friends have come and gone, as well as guys. The roller coaster of life continues... But i have figured myself out a little more, I'm still pretty confusing tho. Oh and no matter what happens i can get through it..
Top Ten
1 my apartment kicks the dorms ass.
2 there are great guys out there
3.You cant change someone who doesn't want to change
4.All I can do is do my best to be a good person and hope that who i am people will like...and if they don't then that's OK too..
5.Even best friends leave.
6.Believe
7.My friend Amanda and i were talking about how everything is as big of a deal as you make it..and
8.worrying gets you no where...
9.do not compromise on the things that are the most important to you...remember that they are important for a reason and that reason will probably never leave
10.Enjoy life and just love every moment in the moment<(i am so bad at being in the moment)

Some things will never change however...like my eternal love for chick flicks :)I <3 MOVIES...Some people will always be here for me, and I love them for that, I want a dog! I'm still weird and awkward...

And a little lame... :)

Always love hate will get you every time <3

Goodnight